01 Jul Do Mothers Really Have Stronger Bonds with Their Children Than Fathers

Do you remember how kids have been constantly asked the one confusing question since time unknown- 

“Who do you love more, Mummy or Papa?”

Though we as adults find it amusing to see their confused faces, the child is totally baffled about what to say. However, there are cases when a child just does not care and blurts out the name of the party that he/she benefits from the most.

It can be difficult to choose between parents. After all, both the mother and father play an important role in a child’s growth and development. So, when either one goes missing, even for a few days, a child starts feeling incomplete. So, who do children have a stronger bond with- the mother or the father? 

To answer your question, here’s what we found out. 

Do Fathers share the same Instincts as a Mother?

You must have heard of the term “Mommy’s boy” and “Daddy’s princess”. Society believes that daughters are closer to their fathers and mothers to their son. But, we all know and have seen most of the times that this is not true. Studies have shown that a parent’s relationship with their child is directly related to the amount of time that they spend with the child. That is the reason how mothers and fathers alike can distinguish their child’s cries from other kids. It has nothing to do with the gender of the child. 

Speaking of time spent with children, there is another study that explains why some boys are distant from their fathers. The study suggests that if a father and son fail to bond in the first three months of their lives, then it could lead to a life long distance between them, thus causing future behavioural issues. This finding only suggests that paternal leaves should be an option for fathers too so that a child can experience the same experience and interactions with both parents. As important as it is for mothers, fathers too must have the chance to experience loving contact with their babies at an early stage. 

What’s the difference?

It has always been perceived that a father can never share the same emotional bond that a mother has with her child. However, society is changing at a great pace today, and fathers all over the world are seen having the same emotional bond with their child as the mother does. 

According to studies, fathers have also been found to form a bond with the unborn child even if they have not had the experience of being pregnant as mothers do. Fathers too experience a rise in oxytocin, the bonding hormone when they interact with their child in the same way when mothers give birth or are breastfeeding. The interaction though, that causes this rise of oxytocin in both cases can be different. For a mother, it could be when she talks to her baby, looks into their eyes, watches them fall asleep, or receives a gentle touch from her baby. On the other hand, fathers feel the release of the hormones when they are playing with their kids, moving them around, or buying them gifts. 

It’s difficult to understand the difference or similarity between a father and mother’s bond with their child. Till the present day, most mothers are still staying home to look after their children. It’s very rare that a father would do so, even though such cases do exist. Hence, it is not understandable if the reason why fathers interact differently to their babies than a mother does is due to this difference in roles of a homemaker and a breadwinner. Hence, it can only be an assumption that if the roles were reversed, maybe the child would have a stronger bond with the father. After all, there are single fathers, who take up all the responsibilities of raising their children as a mother would.

It is a complex question to answer who shares a much special bond with a child between the parents. Children have been seen to be torn apart when parents divorce. They must choose one among the two, and no matter who it is, they still hurt. Even though parents perform different roles in a child’s life, the presence of both is crucial for a child to grow up healthy and happy.